Old letters

I've been reading through old letters and recycling. It's so satisfying to let them go.
Yesterday I found three things I wanted to share:

This first is from my dear friend Jody from high school. I hope she'll read this and be inspired by her youthful wisdom. We are made of intelligence, whether we realize it at the time, whether we're young or old, whether we're open or contracted. Thank you, Jody, for writing this then, and for the gift it gave me today.

"i have realized that my life has been lacking the spirituality i used to know so well. i accidentally allowed the Religions to intimidate me out of being spiritual in the same way that some Ladies try to intimidate me out of being a woman. spirituality ain't just going to church, as you well know, kind of like shaving your legs ain't being feminine. and i mean i've always known all this... but i just forgot to pay attention there for a while. i forgot to remember the things my spirituality is focused on (my body, other bodies, the moon, the earth, water, etc.)... i think because my spirituality is centered on concrete, tangible, everyday things, it is easily procrastinated or swept under the carpet. it is easy to write off as hokey new age hippie shit and it's not often talked about (not really) and i just forgot to remember.
forgetting to remember is an easy thing to do...
i forgot to remember the beauty of my belly, my breasts, etc. i forgot to wear my skin like a silky nightgown... and accidentally started wearing it like a cheap suit instead.
also: i live in a place where the sky never gets dark and the starts never stop hiding. and so it's easy to forget those things too.
i realized that i'm very, very good at listening to my body - i eat very well, i exercise well, i know when to sleep and when to get up. it's time to start hugging when i need it. it's time to start kissing when i need it. it's time to feel the earth beneath me - really feel it.
time to remember
and i might need help
and i might ask
you"

So what do we do to remember? Even two years I would have felt described by these words. But today I'm a lot better at remembering. A big part of it is my community, which reminds me with it's existence, with it's concentration, with it's activity. Meditating every day helps. Working with my teacher Harshada helps. Asking for help helps. Maybe just growing up helps. I hope so. I hope everyone remembers just a little bit more today than yesterday: that we each feel the beauty that we are, even if just for a minute; that we each feel connected to the earth beneath us, even if it's buried under many layers of transit tunnels and concrete; that we each feel gravity's pull towards the sky, even if we can't see the stars. It's all there, happening, and we are the proof.

This is another one from Jody, just a quick excerpt from a dream she had:

"i dream so vividly it's a wonder i feel rested in the morning. i dream in moonlight-drenched Technicolor. i sometimes dream in spanish. which is bizarre. some mornings i wake up remembering smells from my dreams. the too-strong perfume on the girl in front of me when i'm riding the bus. the smell of rain and wet dogs. most often i have flying dreams. constantly. not ever flying like cruising-through-the-air-arms-outstretched but more like floating. often i start out underwater and i move my arms up and down so i can return to the surface. only when i hit the surface i don't stop - i keep going up up up. when i'm about twenty feet above the water, i realize i can't go any higher so i dive back in. my favorite dream is the one where i teach my entire family (cousins and everything) to do it. we're in this sparkly, sunny lagoon place all by ourselves and we float lazily as high as we can go and then we dive deep."

This one does sound like my life. The moments of remembering are like that flying, floating up, and diving back in is just as nourishing, just as delightful. There are differences, there are boundaries that separate, but it's all so beautiful, either I'm flying or I'm diving, and I don't feel scared anymore, I just love the ride.

Somehow I hope that this blog - and all the beautiful things you do to pour your heart into the world - are the part where we teach our families to do it too.